Difficulty Setting Goals

I've had a lot of trouble setting goals for my life. I think that much of my problem is that I have never known exactly how to reach what I wanted to do. I have not had access to a lot of good advice or resources.

When I was in junior high and high school, I wanted to be more involved. For some reason I often had difficulty becoming involved. I stayed with my grandparents a lot and I hated to ask for money or even for anyone to drive me. They had already sacrificed a lot of their resources and retirement for us grandkids. My parents were not low-income people but my dad's alcoholism and lack of fiscal constraint was detrimental, leaving little money to spend on their children.

I did manage to have fairly good grades in high school and have some involvement, especially after I began to drive and got a part-time job. Then I faced the issue of college. What should I study? Where should I go? What were my career goals? This was all very overwhelming at the time.

Even when I finally arrived in college I never did know if I was going to be able to finish and be able to start a career. I had no financial support and it's a miracle I've accomplished as much as I have. Sometimes I felt like it was all possible. My sister tends to be a very negative person, so life seems so impossible that I might as well give up after I talk to her. I've learned this, so I try to guard my thoughts when I talk to her and sometimes even avoid talking to her.

When I'm not working toward my goals or if they seem impossible, I begin to fall apart. I lose motivation, even for things that need to be completed in the near future. I feel better when my goals are kept in mind, I feel like I have a plan, and I'm working towards them. When I think that I'm going to seminary, I feel better.

Here I am. I'm 25, a senior, and a day student turned Continuing Studies student at Drury University. I'm knocking out my history degree and will worry about secondary education as soon as I can. I will eventually teach history whether it be at a high school, a community college, or even a university. I will eventually go to seminary, preferably Eden Seminary in St. Louis and become a pastor in the United Church of Christ. I'd like to give up Pamida / Shopko Hometown as soon as it is financially possible, even though I truly enjoy working there and believe in the role of the company.

Don't let me forget this.